From Louis CK to Rodney Dangerfield and from Sarah Silverman to Richard Pryor, these guys are hilarious.
“I had to stop drinking, cause I got tired of waking up in my car going 90.”
“I taught Sunday School for two years. And I got fired. I abused my authority. I would teach class like this: ‘OK, if one more person talks, everyone is going to Hell’.”
“Starbucks says they’re going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one say, ‘Jesus! This cup is expensive’!”
“I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.”
“There’s a reason it’s called ‘girls gone wild’ and not ‘women got wild’. When girls go wild, they show their t**s. When women go wild, they kill men and drown their kids in a tub.”
“It’s not that I’m afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.”
“I can’t wait till Sunday, I’m gonna see my favorite niece, and my other niece…”